I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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