Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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