is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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