just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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