I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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