i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
