Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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