She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
