sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
