you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm drive I can fine osifer
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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