therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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