I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
