I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
