Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?