I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.