the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
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when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
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I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.