K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She liked it
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Everclear isn't food dammit