You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so explain again why im purple
no
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
