Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
