Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
