No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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