problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
