It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
