Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
