i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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