People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
