Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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