I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
how does that bad decision feel?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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