these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I CAN MOONWALK!
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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