Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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