you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
