dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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