Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
