i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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