The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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