It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
