opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
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