I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
