Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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