Just mADE A PArabola og urine
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
