What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize