smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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