Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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