We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Green mimosas i think yes
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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