dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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