can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
