she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize