he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
