she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
