Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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