"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
