Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
