Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Help me help you realize you are a moron
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize