Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
