When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
