EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
