I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Come see our sink grown plant.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
