You're so nebulous sometimes
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
