Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
