if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
