i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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