i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize