She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
