there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I deserve this hangover.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
