I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
