Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Im just a social blackout drinker.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
