I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
